ESL Instructions
I got a back brace from my parents for Christmas.
Technically speaking, I got it the day after Christmas, because I worked Christmas Day (see photographic evidence below).
So Mark and I opened presents on Boxing Day, with no major surprises, because my family believes in following Wish Lists. Thus, I had requested said back brace, which I'm excited to use at work, because I want every benefit a supported and correctly-postured back can bring to someone who is still working through some pain from a lumbar discectomy.
However, on opening the package, I discovered that getting the back brace on was not exactly intuitive, and the instructions would probably be more helpful if they were in a different language. Although maybe Google Translate is how the current instruction manual exists, in which case we would be entirely dependent on trial & error.
Here are some of my favorite instructions:
-Firstly combine your back brace, then spread your arms to wear your back, and adjust the length according to your body length
-After wearing it, looked up and felt the tension and the pressure of the three force surfaces
-Do not touch the skin directly while wearing it
-Do not place it with water for a long time
-Avoid hot
Look, the thing had PICTURES and we STILL were struggling to understand what the manual was talking about (in our defense, the brace is black, and any parts that layer on top of the brace are also black, making the pictures just a solid black thing on a person).
The thing that gets me the most is that the instructions properly use 'affect' and 'effect', but everything else is word salad. ["Too large a model can affect the effect of posture correction."] 'Affect' v 'effect' is something like a college-level understanding of English grammar, and yet the instructions would probably be more understandable if a native English-speaking 5-year-old dictated them. How the heck did that happen?!
Fortunately, the odds of me harming myself with the back brace itself are pretty low (despite the skin warning...)
Technically speaking, I got it the day after Christmas, because I worked Christmas Day (see photographic evidence below).
 |
| I put a poinsettia tree ornament in my hair, 'cuz it's important to look festive |
However, on opening the package, I discovered that getting the back brace on was not exactly intuitive, and the instructions would probably be more helpful if they were in a different language. Although maybe Google Translate is how the current instruction manual exists, in which case we would be entirely dependent on trial & error.
 |
| Mark trying to figure it out |
Here are some of my favorite instructions:
-Firstly combine your back brace, then spread your arms to wear your back, and adjust the length according to your body length
-After wearing it, looked up and felt the tension and the pressure of the three force surfaces
-Do not touch the skin directly while wearing it
-Do not place it with water for a long time
-Avoid hot
Look, the thing had PICTURES and we STILL were struggling to understand what the manual was talking about (in our defense, the brace is black, and any parts that layer on top of the brace are also black, making the pictures just a solid black thing on a person).
The thing that gets me the most is that the instructions properly use 'affect' and 'effect', but everything else is word salad. ["Too large a model can affect the effect of posture correction."] 'Affect' v 'effect' is something like a college-level understanding of English grammar, and yet the instructions would probably be more understandable if a native English-speaking 5-year-old dictated them. How the heck did that happen?!
Fortunately, the odds of me harming myself with the back brace itself are pretty low (despite the skin warning...)
Lots of luck!
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