Bigger or Better: Life outside of Texas

When I was in elementary school, my parents bought a book illustrated by James Christensen that told a fantasy story where the main characters go on adventures on a ship under the banner "Believing Is Seeing." It was a nice story, emphasizing, essentially, that faith precedes the miracle.  I don't think I absorbed the moral very well, because I interpreted that phrase to mean that faith is the admission price of the miracle, the prerequisite to having amazing things happen in your life. I think it's actually because you need a believing state of mind to see miracles, because hints of divinity are around everywhere. For example, whenever I make muffins and the batter produces more than the recipe's listed quantity, I think of the miracle of Elijah and the widow. Now could this event be explained by other means? Probably...but in that moment I am in the state of mind to see abundance. Another example: I'm on a walk with my toddler, and I need to convince him to ...

For work reasons, Mark is not available, which means Nathan and I have been having a lot of bonding time. Sunday night we made applesauce muffins. Which means I made applesauce muffins, and Nathan measured dry beans onto the floor--because I preferred him playing in that than with flour or rolled oats. He also got to lick the maple syrup measuring cup, which he was a big fan of, and got offended when it ran out. Honestly, I made the applesauce muffins because I didn't want to go outside [which he wanted to do, which I knew because he kept showing me his shoes and jacket] and figured he would get distracted with muffins. That's also why I put away laundry--because he loves laundry--and why we went to the library. Maybe even why we went to church. Basically we had a bunch of side quests to distract him from his Main Quest. I'm beginning to suspect that all of his childhood will be me coming up with side quests, filling up his days with Things To Do so that he doesn't rea...

  I was asked recently to give a talk on Joseph of Egypt. I'm sharing an expanded version here because I want everyone to see it and draw strength from it. Everybody has trials. Every single person. But the universality of it hasn't yet provided a satisfactory answer on the necessity behind each of those hard times. Sure, we have theories. Maybe the difficulties stem from agency--either we or someone else made a poor choice, and now we get to learn from the consequences. Maybe the struggles are because we live in a fallen world (aka "mortality") and we need the trials to become better people worthy of living with God. Maybe we are suffering because God made a bet with Satan [I'm thinking Job here] and we just need to hang on long enough to have full vindication and double the blessings we had before.  We've come up with phrases to offer to those who are suffering-- "God is in the details." or  "You're going through a refiner's fire....

 Parenthood is a difficult multidirectional journey.  In the first few months, unravelling from lack of sleep, you realize how selfish you actually have been in your pre-parenthood life, as you give so much of yourself to this new being that you begin to be untethered to who you once were. The postpartum period is not just a fourth trimester for the infant, but for the mother as well, for her life is even more tied to sustaining the baby than it was when the baby was in utero. I have never given so much for anyone as I did in that period, which seemed to stretch infinitely while I was in it, and only now seems to have finite bounds. I think all physicists should experience the postpartum months to grasp how warped time can become, because what holds more gravity than the beginnings of an utterly unique life just recently dropped into spacetime, dragging the parents into his orbit with such insistent yet basic demands? Strangely, as the baby gains mass, slowly leaving infancy, ...

 Nathan recently gave us colds, and because there is very little I can give him medicinally for his cough and ear pressure, we've been spending a lot of time every day in a steamy shower. The first couple of times he was pretty chill about hanging out in the tub, but after that he became quite wiggly and wanted to escape. What can I do to keep him in this homemade sauna? I know! We'll do science experiments. I let the tub fill with water, then collected various things--his newborn tub, a balloon, a massage ball, an empty water bottle--so that we could see which ones float and which ones sink. The balloon is big--do you think it will sink? Nope! It floats! The massage ball is small--do you think it will float? Nope! It sinks! Etc. Nathan really got into it, and grabbed a package of toilet paper to bring over to the tub. That's really cute, kiddo, and I appreciate your enthusiasm, but no. It's been several days since that "science experiment", but he continues t...

 I'm here to tell you that Sheila, Mark's car of 20 years, has died [more precisely, has been donated to public radio, but the fact remains that she no longer runs]. Mark was starting his drive home from St. Louis when Sheila just...stopped. He started her up again, and she reasserted her stationary status. He did a manual override to get her off the road [ie put her in neutral and rolled off to the side down the hill], and then called a tow.  And thus began the search for the ideal car . [Unfortunately, I don't think cars, or people, have achieved perfection on earth, but the pressure to find the closest-to-perfect still exists]. It needed to have safety features like a backup camera, curtain airbags, and superb crash test results. I stipulated that it needed to have air vents to the rear seat, as I had noticed that Nathan can get warm sitting back there in his carseat. We preferred a hybrid, for environmental and gas-price reasons. The car also needed room for his strolle...

 You may recall that I was an Activity Days person for  kids aged 8-11 for our congregation back in DC. Well, I may never completely escape it. Mark was asked to be the Activity Days person for boys aged 8-11 for our congregation here in Illinois, and he wanted me to help teach a First Aid lesson to them. Which I did. Okay, mostly Mark did the teaching--because he's good interacting with kids--but I prepared the lessons. Not sure the kids actually enjoyed  it (one of them asked at the end of the night "Are we doing anything fun today?"), but the parents must have thought it was useful, because we got asked to teach First Aid to the older boys [aged 12-17]. And by golly, I thought up some good activities, so we're documenting it. Heimlich Maneuver : I pinched off small pieces of bread and rolled them into balls that could fit in a bunch of straws, then lodged a bread ball into the end of each straw that I handed out to each boy to then blow into a tub. The idea is the ...

 I have officially experienced all trimesters, and I have to say the fourth trimester is the worst [although admittedly I didn't get very far into the third trimester, which I think means my fourth trimester was even longer]. At one of my follow-up visits, I told my midwife that the sleep deprivation is more miserable than labor/delivery, and she heartily agreed. I can't believe I was hoping for multiples. Anyway, the fourth trimester is over, but the sleep deprivation continues. I have discovered that I am both stronger and weaker than I imagined. I have been through a lot [read below!], and have only survived because of community--so for all my friends and acquaintances who went through the postpartum period without my emotional/physical support, I owe y'all some serious apologies.  Highlights [or really, lowlights] of the last 4 months: When Nathan was 6 weeks old Mark and I both got food poisoning. We are 99% sure it came from a soup mix that, ironically, had been sent ...

Much has happened in the past month. The most notable is that I produced a human.[okay, some of that was done in the preceding 8 months, but I mean that he is actually physically separate from me]. Quick highlights antecedent to the major event: -I had a virtual baby shower, pulled together with the work, time, and creativity of my family. It ended with the apartment fire alarm going off, because of course it did, that's just how my life goes. -I dressed up as a hippie for our church Halloween Trunk or Treat. It turns out to be the last time I was photographed prior to being in labor. -I got called into our church congregation's Primary [ie children's] presidency. I think that means I help out the Primary teachers, attend meetings, sub in as Primary pianist as needed. The job description in the handbook is kind-of vague. -My pregnancy had been the longest full-migraine-free period of my adult life. On the subject of migraines, a week before I gave birth, I had such a terrib...

 I have hit the 6-month mark in gestation. I'd like to say that means I'm two-thirds of the way done, but actually, * psych! * pregnancy is 10 months, not 9. I don't know why we say pregnancy is 9 months; maybe it averages in all the preemies. So far, I have to say first trimester is the worst. Constant nausea, and too early to tell people why you feel terrible. Mark likes to point out that I never threw up, but nausea is terrible all on its own, so I didn't find that comforting. Second trimester has less nausea, but also less energy. Like, I was running 2-3 miles a day up until 2nd trimester. Now I'm running 1 mile a couple times a week, but as of this week I think even that is going to stop because the 2 times I ran this week left me with such pain in my pelvic area--and that's even with a belly band thing to try to support the extra tummy weight--that changing positions hurt all day. Also, I'm not a fan of the nighttime leg cramps. These are charley-horse...

  On May 10, we began the move into our new apartment.  It is in the same building as our old apartment.  In fact, it is just down the hall on the same floor.  Our lease renewal was coming up on our old apartment and the rent on our old apartment was going up significantly.  If we were going to pay a bunch more for our old apartment, why not get a bigger and refurbished apartment for slightly more than what our new rent was going to be?  The new apartment would still be a one-bedroom, but would have a study and would also have a half-bath by the front door.  The big draw for us is the study, which is too small to be considered a second bedroom but will be big enough to have a crib [because SPOILER! pregnant].  The half-bath is unnecessary (except for if we have guests over who want to use the bathroom without going through our bedroom, but we almost never have guests) and is actually a hindrance as it takes away from kitchen space. Our lease on th...

 May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so when it came time for my turn to come up with an activity for Senior Primary (ages 8-11) in our congregation, I decided to teach them mindfulness activities. I thought it would be one of the hardest activities to do, because teaching someone to still the mind or to tune into their bodies is rather a tough concept. And I wanted to do it in a way that made it seem normal--so no crystals, no burning incense or candles, no divining rods. What I ended up doing is coming up with several different mindfulness activities, and assigning each to a random object I placed in a bag so that the children could select an object to determine what mindfulness thing we practiced.  We did Guided imagery--I had them close their eyes while I told them to imagine walking on a beach, feeling the sand beneath their feet, hearing the crash of waves, coming up to a fire where Jesus had fish and bread for them, and imagining what their conversation would be. Body...

 There are times when I read the news about this or that religious group deciding that what the world needs is not more freedom for faith but more coercion into obedience; and I think that they have misinterpreted the meaning of "force" in the call to be a "Force for Good," and overlooked the strength in faith. You see, there are plenty of times I question how literally to take the Bible or how much to trust in human attempts to direct the focus of our faith, but I keep going in these struggles of credence Because I believe in Jesus. There are times when I read my social feed seeing how this person or that friend seems to have life figured out, goals met, accomplishments catalogued, and I think perhaps on this test drive of experiences I must have been given  a manual engine while everyone else has automatic; and I have to learn how to drive it  as I go at highway speeds while also trying to figure out where I am on the map and how to get where I want to go, which e...

I think a lot of our Norway vacation was a compromise between our physiology, Norwegian weather, and/or our expectations. We signed up to go snowshoeing with a guy from Finland, and soon discovered that his pace of snowshoeing, coupled with his desired trip duration, was beyond our capabilities. I, for one, learned that without the heat provided by my battery-powered gloves [and coupled with the sweating from our high-energy-output pace], I could no longer keep my fingers working. I truly was unable to feel my fingers, which made it really difficult to have any hand dexterity--if you can't tell where your fingers are , then you can't properly direct them to where they need to be . I think I may have freaked out our guide, because after seeing how stiff and red my hand digits were, he not only gave me his gloves, but also the keys to the car so that I could warm back up [which, btw, is painful] while he continued with the rest of the group. Mark accompanied me on the trek back, ...

 Happy Birthday to Mark, and he wrote this post.  One of the benefits of traveling to snowy northern Norway is that there are a plethora of winter activities to do.   Besides the usual skiing/snowboarding, snowshoeing, and snowmobiling, there are also things more unique to Tromsø, such as reindeer sleigh rides and dogsledding.   We went dogsledding twice during our Norway travels.   This is the story of the first of those adventures.   The dogsledding company of our first experience is located at the Tromsø Golf Club, the northernmost 18-hole golf course in the world.  Buried in snow in the winter, it becomes the perfect place for an amazing dogsledding experience.  The dogsledding company runs shuttle busses from Tromsø city center to the dogsledding camp.  It takes about an hour to get there and the views along the way are spectacular. The noise on arrival was also spectacular.   They have well over 100 dogs there and they all want...