Beginnings and Ends

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I haven't really seriously considered a new year's resolution for this year. I vaguely decided that it should be "be happy." However, I have already cried 4 times this week. Resolutions are so hard to keep.
My patient is dying. He has requested that we stop treatment. I support that decision, because the treatments  do little good (in terms of his response) and cause a lot of pain. But it's still hard to watch. I've cried with my manager, with my family, with the palliative care doctor, and with just me.
I was telling someone a while ago that it's easier to watch an adult die than a child, which is why I chose to work on an adult medical/surgical floor instead of pediatrics. "Easier" is a relative term here. I can still sleep at night because I know that I did my best to help him get better, and now I'll do my best to ease his death. So I visited him today, and sat and watched part of "Alice in Wonderland" with him, and talked about his kids, and his wife, and how she loves the purse he got him (see previous post), and that I'd be back tomorrow.
There's a popular phrase around, "You only live once." I disagree. You only die once. It is one moment, one event, that is surrounded by life.
I recently heard a song composed by Chris Rice, and noticed immediately that each verse proclaims that we live. So we have, so we do, and so we shall.

Weak and wounded sinner 
Lost and left to die 
O, raise your head, for love is passing by 
Come to Jesus 
Come to Jesus 
Come to Jesus and live! 

Now your burden's lifted 
And carried far away 
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so 
Sing to Jesus 
Sing to Jesus 
Sing to Jesus and live! 

And like a newborn baby 
Don't be afraid to crawl 
And remember when you walk 
Sometimes we fall...so 
Fall on Jesus 
Fall on Jesus 
Fall on Jesus and live! 

Sometimes the way is lonely 
And steep and filled with pain 
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then 
Cry to Jesus 
Cry to Jesus 
Cry to Jesus and live! 

O, and when the love spills over 
And music fills the night 
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then 
Dance for Jesus 
Dance for Jesus 
Dance for Jesus and live! 

And with your final heartbeat 
Kiss the world goodbye 
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and 
Fly to Jesus 
Fly to Jesus 
Fly to Jesus and live! 

Comments

  1. TamannaJanuary 11, 2013 at 3:17 PM

    Aw, Sara. You are doing an amazing job. And you have a noble profession. I love you and am proud of you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJanuary 12, 2013 at 4:52 AM

    You do your profession honor and grace....I am so proud of you and admire your love and service. An admirer, Your Dad.

    ReplyDelete

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