wal-mart backwards is tram law

There's a poem by William Shakespeare that describes man as inconstant, with one foot on sea and one on shore. I feel like it is a good metaphor for experiencing life. There are things that are easily understood, firm, everyday, just there. That is shore. [because it's sure; get it?] Then there are things that whip around you, confusing wheres and whys, and cause you to miss your footing, or at least your grasp of the situation. That is sea.

And I feel like Wal-Mart can be the very juncture of sea and shore.

I went there with perfectly logical intentions. I had moved apartments, and decided it was too difficult to cook and eat with just a bowl, a crockpot, and some tupperware. That, and a lack of basic food ingredients. I didn't even have salt. So, trying to keep costs down, I visited Wal-Mart. That, and it was the only grocery store I knew of in my new area. 

So I drove the really strangely back-roads route to the Wal-Mart parking lot, grabbed a basket, and, seeing a clearance section, went through it to figure out what I thought I needed and what I thought I wanted. Sometimes, you don't know what you need and want until you see it.

So with my basket seeded with things of practical use, I continued on my way to the 'Home' section to select the things my home lacked. As I entered the window decor aisle, a woman saw me and asked me if I thought mmmnhg mk. I had no idea what she said, so I went with the most appropriate response. "I don't know." She said she appreciated my honesty. I tried to get back to finding a curtain rod. She continued to ask me my opinions on her window decor choices, like if the curtains she picked out would go with her red leather couches, or what length of curtains she needed with her windows. I feel like I could have contributed better if I had previously ever been to her house. I wondered if she knew I had never been to her house. Finally we went our separate ways.

As I was in the bath aisle, figuring out which towel would be the softest for the best price, another woman came into the aisle pulling her basket behind her and asked, generally, what a girl was doing at this time of day not in school or university. Since I was the only other person in that aisle, I figured she meant me, and so I said "Because I've graduated already." The woman apologized and said I looked so young. Mentally, I was analyzing two things. What made her think that someone who was supposed to be in school would play hooky to come to Wal-Mart and pick out bath towels? And also, why wasn't her follow-up question about being at work? Isn't that why people go to university? To get work? We don't just graduate and then decide to use our education to shop at Wal-Mart. There's usually some sort of goal. And usually, Wal-Mart aint it.

As I wandered down the cereal aisle, a man approached me and asked if they sold coffee here. I started to wonder if my blue t-shirt made me look like an employee. He said he had looked everywhere for it. I encouraged his search, saying I was sure they had it somewhere, and just like that, he was off. Is this reality?

I went down a mystery aisle of toys and home improvement things, and ran into my chatty friend of first mention, who on seeing me, held up a can of Rust-oleum and asked if it was possible to get this stuff anywhere besides Wal-mart. Not even sure why she asked this, because I'm pretty sure Wal-Mart has the cheapest price, and Rust-oleum is Rust-oleum; it's not going to change the contents of the can depending on location. But I offered her my thoughts that it could probably be found at Home Depot or Lowe's. This satisfied her, and she put the can down and walked off.

By now, my cart was quite full with a menagerie of home items, so I headed to the check-out counter, and picked a line that looked short. Then I realized I was behind the lady who thought I should be at school, and started chanting 'Don't turn around, don't turn around' inside my head. She didn't.

So the cashier started ringing up my items, her hands protected with latex gloves, and I started trying to figure out how to best arrange things for transport to my car. I suppose this made me look hurried, because the cashier apologized for taking too much of my time. I, rather sheepishly, apologized back, and explained that I was just trying to figure out logistics. She said it was alright, she had loads of time to help me; it was money that she didn't have. That pricked my conscience, so I quietly paid and left, chagrined for what I had.

In the parking lot, i realized I had forgotten to get milk.

Oh, heck, I'm NOT going back in there.