Bigger or Better: Life outside of Texas

I was scared of this third-decade birthday. It just seems that the world expects you to know how to be an adult by age 30.  But I can't even floss my teeth on a regular basis   (unless that basis is yearly) . This is how TOUGH GUYS floss. With a .50 caliber machine gun I'm guessing denial kept me from asking for the day off from work. But it turned out fine. I talked with my co-workers about ways of staying young, different lotion regimens or dermabrasions. I mentioned that I had recently gotten Botox (for migraines, but some of the injection sites included my forehead and between my eyebrows) and hoped it could work in my favor. We had donuts, and pancit, and egg rolls, and boba drinks, and everyone at work basically was forced to celebrate with me!! Ha-ha! When I got home from work, I found Mark trying to make blueberry muffins for me (I like blueberry muffins. I like poppyseed muffins more, but that's okay). It really wasn't his fault that it wasn't worki

For the past two weeks, I have been spending a lot of time at the county morgue. I've seen lots of cold bodies. And the scene of death. And then their autopsies. Lots of really vivid memories to be made there. So, with the authority of 80+ hours of reviewing cause of death, I have some things to say. --For goodness sake, DON'T CO-SLEEP WITH YOUR BABY --Also, if you have a gun, LOCK IT UP. AND DON'T TOUCH IT WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY --Death from drug abuse doesn't discriminate between rich and poor. Don't waste your time or money on illicit drugs. --People with high blood alcohol levels do really stupid things. Don't be one of them. --Based on how many suicides came through the doors, we need to PAY ATTENTION TO MENTAL HEALTH. We need coping skills. --High blood pressure has a visible effect on internal organs. It's a problem. It can kill you. --WEAR A HELMET when riding on motorcycles. Bicycles, too. --Cars are really great at moving people arou