Let's Get Real

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When I first starting working as a nurse, an acquaintance at church told me my life sounded like a bed of roses.
I don't think anyone's life is a bed of roses. Even celebrities. I mean, what about Tom Hanks getting COVID19? What about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's failed marriage (which I am still, inexplicably, sad about, when I don't even follow Hollywood developments)?
What we see of each other's lives is only what they disclose, and it sure is a lot more fun to disclose the happy things than the sad ones.

Case in point: I published an article last week in a nursing journal. I immediately shared it. Like I'm in the peak of my career or something.
But it has taken me until now to share something that happened 2 weeks ago [the week before I shared news of the article]. I was laid off.

Looking back, I can see a perfect alignment of coincidences that led to that moment.
Finding my feet as a new nurse practitioner--> waiting for paperwork that would let me practice independently--> aforementioned paperwork getting lost in transit--> filing paperwork again, but the person in charge of practice regulations went out on maternity leave--> not being able to actually practice independently because of that paperwork thing--> simultaneously having to build trust with the doctors I worked with [and mostly struggling with it, as personalities or work styles or something didn't match up]--> needing to take a month off of work for my back surgery--> coming back to work right at the start of the pandemic--> lost revenue because of reduced patient flow --> end of job.

I'm now in a temporary job, and because I'm human and want to make the best of things, I reassure myself that the other job wasn't good for me anyway. Delays, poor communication, low autonomy... really, this is a blessing in disguise! That's what I tell myself, anyway. Because otherwise I'm faced with anxiety, discouragement, lower self-confidence, fear, frustration, etc etc.

My life is not a bed of roses. In fact, it feels rather prickly at the moment as I try to grapple with understanding how this happened. But I still laugh. I still mispronounce things. I still make messes in the kitchen. I still hide chocolates from my husband. I'm still me.
And no pandemic or job loss changes that.
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Comments

  1. Lindaswenson2020@gmail.comMay 24, 2020 at 1:30 PM

    You are an amazing and genuine woman. You possess an incredible reserve of patience and perseverance. You are an example of integrity and faith and hope.
    You are exemplary!! Stay the course and know that He will direct your path! ♥️

    ReplyDelete

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