psychoanalyze this

I had a very, very, very interesting dream last night. Worth recording for posterity, friends, and strangers.

I dreamed this man, who we'll designate the Enemy, had an evil plan to take over the world and made all of his conquered people cook for him. I didn't want to cook for no man [said in southern accent] so I ran away and built a castle and dug a moat. Soon I had followers, and we were all in the kitchen (which was actually the only room in the castle) sauteeing onions, grilling chicken, burning butternut squash, and making huge vats of orange jello. I asked the ladies over the jello vats why we needed to make so much jello--I didn't have that many followers. They said that they were just using my kitchen to prepare the food for the Enemy. I was very mad, and threw them out across the moat. And then I suspected anyone else who came to my castle--with good reason, because a family bringing potatoes and onions to make rolls (I think that they would have been delicious) also was just coming to use my capacious kitchen.


Well, that meant WAR. So the whole earth divided into my camp and the enemy's camp. I went into the pantry full of my cooking utensils, and handed out rotisserie sticks and steak knifes and cooking forks as weapons. One crazy follower wanted a weapon shaped like Texas, so after rummaging through the highest shelf, I found a Texas-shaped cookie cutter and gave her that.Once we emptied the pantry, I used it to hide all of the children and elderly ladies to protect them, then built a barricade across the entrance. Before I closed it off, I found a small red-headed child named Justin. He was quite heavy, like lead. I knew this was significant. I found a red-headed family and told them to watch him closely, because he was vital to our success. Then I went to battle.
A huge loch-ness type monster had invaded the moat, bringing with it darkness and thunder. The Enemy came across the moat, saw me, brandished his chef's knife, and jumped at me. I grabbed my utlity knife, and with all the force that he brought with his jump, drove the knife deep into his chest. He landed on top of me, dead, but I was stunned and couldn't move for a while. My followers feared I was dead. Finally I rolled him off of me, then we all went after the monster.
At the monster's death, it left a giant hole of muck and evil in my kitchen. My priest advised me that I needed a sacrifice to cleanse the earth. So I took Justin, and threw him into the hole, and the priest said a blessing, and we all lived happily ever after.

From this dream, I gather that kitchens are rather important. And that I don't like being forced to cook for people. I just worry about Justin.

This image is not mine. Obviously.