The little old lady that could
Once upon a time, not that long ago, I took care of the,cutest old lady of my acquaintance. She was small, which automatically meets the requirements for being cute, but she also said the darnedest things.
When I first met her, I asked her how she was. She said, "Oh, great! I feel like running a marathon." I thought we'd work on getting up to her chair first. So we stood up, walked 3 feet, and she sat in the chair. I put her feet up, covered her in blankets, handed her a newspaper and the TV remote, and asked how she felt. "Oh, great! I feel like a man!"
[which is an interesting reflection on gender stereotypes]
She was a bit groggy from pain medicine, so before she dozed off in the chair, I helped her back to the bed, put on her leg compression stockings, and told her to enjoy the massage on her calves.
"Oh, good. I feel like a woman!"
[again, an interesting insight of gender stereotypes]
After an appropriate recovery time, and with fair warning, I stood by her bedside to get her up and walk. She moaned and groaned as she stood, then turned to me and said "I hope you don't mind my histrionics. I feel like it makes life more interesting."
I had been internally rolling my eyes, but after that remark, I didn't mind one bit.
We walked one lap, and then I gave her a decision: walk another one, or go and sit in the chair again. She chose to walk, and I encouraged her by giving updates: "130 feet now." [her response: "oh, we're moving"] "The path is lined with fans" [her: "I can hear them"] "Okay, this is the home stretch! Last 50 feet!" [her: "Guess I won't be in the Kentucky Derby this year"].
We reached her door, and my nursing assistant was changing the sheets on the bed, so the only place to go was the chair. This lady turned to me and said accusingly, "You planned that!" No, I didn't, but lovely how that worked out.
When I first met her, I asked her how she was. She said, "Oh, great! I feel like running a marathon." I thought we'd work on getting up to her chair first. So we stood up, walked 3 feet, and she sat in the chair. I put her feet up, covered her in blankets, handed her a newspaper and the TV remote, and asked how she felt. "Oh, great! I feel like a man!"
[which is an interesting reflection on gender stereotypes]
She was a bit groggy from pain medicine, so before she dozed off in the chair, I helped her back to the bed, put on her leg compression stockings, and told her to enjoy the massage on her calves.
"Oh, good. I feel like a woman!"
[again, an interesting insight of gender stereotypes]
After an appropriate recovery time, and with fair warning, I stood by her bedside to get her up and walk. She moaned and groaned as she stood, then turned to me and said "I hope you don't mind my histrionics. I feel like it makes life more interesting."
I had been internally rolling my eyes, but after that remark, I didn't mind one bit.
We walked one lap, and then I gave her a decision: walk another one, or go and sit in the chair again. She chose to walk, and I encouraged her by giving updates: "130 feet now." [her response: "oh, we're moving"] "The path is lined with fans" [her: "I can hear them"] "Okay, this is the home stretch! Last 50 feet!" [her: "Guess I won't be in the Kentucky Derby this year"].
We reached her door, and my nursing assistant was changing the sheets on the bed, so the only place to go was the chair. This lady turned to me and said accusingly, "You planned that!" No, I didn't, but lovely how that worked out.
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